Boston

Last night was Nish's 30th birthday party. (I found this great card - the front has a classic calla lily photo and a nice script saying something about "My deepest sympathy in this difficult time" and just says Happy Birthday inside! It totally has that sympathy card vibe going, I laughed when I read it!!)

Originally, Mark had scheduled to have it at Machine (gay club in Boston). But then a friend offered to host, and they moved it to Bel's house. He's Brazilian, and good friends with Sergio. I debated not going, because I figured Sergio would be there, and things are still awkward. I tried reconnecting as friends, figuring it would be therapeutic, and help relieve the tension, allowing me to hang out with Nish and Mark in Boston more often. But Sergio has not replied to me in two months, so it's still rather awkward...

I did end up going. I decided to be a man, and deal with it. For Nish... But it turns out Sergio didn't show up anyway. He did come up in conversation a few times, since a number of people there - including Bel - knew the history. And Bel was telling me how he tried to get Sergio to reconsider breaking up with me because he thought it was a dumb idea. But, he admits, Sergio is rather unhappy, confused, and doesn't know what he wants out of life, so seems to need to be unhappy. It was very similar to what I said to Sergio when he dumped me...

A lot of gay guys were there. I found two of them cute. Scottie, who is white and very skinny, was the first. He has a pet mini greyhound, and totally fits the axiom of pet owners looking like their pets. He (true to form) is in a relationship; his boyfriend was back home, studying. But fear not, I have not completely lost my old habits. The second one, Derek, was a cute black boy! He, however, was there with his boyfriend, who just moved in with him. So, I scored two for two on being interested in the unavailable ones! Bel kept mentioning how he becomes good friends with Sergio's ex'es (Mark being one), so he gave me email and phone number when headed to leave.

I need to get out more, again, but I am unsure if I can handle developing a social circle with all of Sergio's friends.