A couple days ago, a friend of mine complained about migraines. Today he sent an email saying that he had been feeling not-so-well lately, and went to the doctor. The verdict came back that he is HIV positive. He was more than a little shocked. He claims to be holding up fairly well. He said he didn't quite understand - he always played safe.
Life can turn on you pretty quickly. I offered to help, though he lives quite far away, so admitted mostly I could only offer my prayers.
If you could offer one as well, it would be appreciated.
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
don't leave me this way...
Work has sucked, lately. I mean, yeah, work always sucks. Everyone thinks their job sucks. But my job has been especially sucky these past couple weeks. Which has caused me to reconsider my relocation plans.
Originally, I had been thinking of waiting until early December before leaving. That would mean job hunting / listing my condo around the end of October or so. Staying that late was in part because the annual profit sharing checks are the first week of December. A couple weeks ago we had a MAJOR product failure at work. Lots of scrap and rework. Customer returns. Costly costly costly. Now, we are not sure how much this really will or will not cost the company, but we are completely expecting that the owner will use it an excuse to not give out much money for the profit sharing. That means sticking around for that check will not be worth it.
So, the NEW plan is to spend part of the upcoming holiday weekend updating my resume to start the wheels turning of heading south / west. California would be nice, but expensive... We'll see!
I mentioned it to my parents. I needed to talk to Ronny about it, but wasn't sure how to bring it up. We went to see Valiant on Sunday (cute movie, but nothing special - a kiddie movie about WWII - what was Disney thinking??), and as the pre-show commercials and crap played, I thought I need to bring it up soon. As we headed back to my place afterward, Ronny asks me how my week at work this coming week will be. I said it should be better. (Incidentally, it hasn't been, but that's beyond the point.) He replied with "So that means you don't need to move, right?" OK - I guess the topic has come up. Let's just say Ronny was NOT pleased. He started crying, said his heart was almost broken. He said "don't leave me... alone."
I of course started crying, too. How can that not tug at your heartstrings??
Then Ronny had to go to work. Meanwhile, my father calls. Since I mentioned the chance of moving soon, he wanted to remind me of all the wonderful government jobs available at the military bases near Las Cruces, and how to find them listed on the internet.
Enough to give you a headache.
Originally, I had been thinking of waiting until early December before leaving. That would mean job hunting / listing my condo around the end of October or so. Staying that late was in part because the annual profit sharing checks are the first week of December. A couple weeks ago we had a MAJOR product failure at work. Lots of scrap and rework. Customer returns. Costly costly costly. Now, we are not sure how much this really will or will not cost the company, but we are completely expecting that the owner will use it an excuse to not give out much money for the profit sharing. That means sticking around for that check will not be worth it.
So, the NEW plan is to spend part of the upcoming holiday weekend updating my resume to start the wheels turning of heading south / west. California would be nice, but expensive... We'll see!
I mentioned it to my parents. I needed to talk to Ronny about it, but wasn't sure how to bring it up. We went to see Valiant on Sunday (cute movie, but nothing special - a kiddie movie about WWII - what was Disney thinking??), and as the pre-show commercials and crap played, I thought I need to bring it up soon. As we headed back to my place afterward, Ronny asks me how my week at work this coming week will be. I said it should be better. (Incidentally, it hasn't been, but that's beyond the point.) He replied with "So that means you don't need to move, right?" OK - I guess the topic has come up. Let's just say Ronny was NOT pleased. He started crying, said his heart was almost broken. He said "don't leave me... alone."
I of course started crying, too. How can that not tug at your heartstrings??
Then Ronny had to go to work. Meanwhile, my father calls. Since I mentioned the chance of moving soon, he wanted to remind me of all the wonderful government jobs available at the military bases near Las Cruces, and how to find them listed on the internet.
Enough to give you a headache.
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Drama
A couple months ago, Nish and Mark broke up. Nish started dating.
Then, one night, I was at the club with some friends, and Nish joined me. My friend Rick saw Nish and was totally smitten. So, I was trying to get him to SAY SOMETHING to Nish. But he was too chicken.
Several days later, we were all at the club again, and Rick again was expressing interest in Nish. Again, I told him to GO SAY SOMETHING. Apparently this time, Rick got up the nerve. Nish was apparently slightly receptive, yet a bit stand-offish. Nothing happened besides a few pleasantries, and it was more of a 'catch ya later' kind of thing.
I discover later that Nish was being hesitant because he had plans to meet up with Mark the next day. Skip a lot of drama, and we get to the point where they get back together.
Now skip to last Saturday night. Rick is unaware of Nish's change from single status to spoken-for. Again, everybody's at the club. Rick is apparently going to push himself a lot more. (Nish had also grown a scruffy little facial hair, which drove Rick wild with desire...) Ronny is very tired, so we leave early. Meanwhile, Rick starts flirting it up with Nish, the rest of the friends (who don't know either) are encouraging it all, and Nish is being fully stand-offish. Rick does kind of clue in, so he asks if Nish is single. Nish replies no, he is seeing someone. Rick then gets a little upset and leaves.
Sunday.
Nish calls me. He's concerned that Rick is mad because he thinks Rick felt that Nish made up the seeing someone thing to push Rick away. (Catch that??) So, knowing fully well why I am being briefed on the details after my departure, I offered to straighten things out. Soothe the nerves of the broken-hearted... Or at least explain the details to those who were in the dark.
Amazing how dating can be such a pain. I'm seeing someone. Nish is seeing someone. And there is still dating drama!
Then, one night, I was at the club with some friends, and Nish joined me. My friend Rick saw Nish and was totally smitten. So, I was trying to get him to SAY SOMETHING to Nish. But he was too chicken.
Several days later, we were all at the club again, and Rick again was expressing interest in Nish. Again, I told him to GO SAY SOMETHING. Apparently this time, Rick got up the nerve. Nish was apparently slightly receptive, yet a bit stand-offish. Nothing happened besides a few pleasantries, and it was more of a 'catch ya later' kind of thing.
I discover later that Nish was being hesitant because he had plans to meet up with Mark the next day. Skip a lot of drama, and we get to the point where they get back together.
Now skip to last Saturday night. Rick is unaware of Nish's change from single status to spoken-for. Again, everybody's at the club. Rick is apparently going to push himself a lot more. (Nish had also grown a scruffy little facial hair, which drove Rick wild with desire...) Ronny is very tired, so we leave early. Meanwhile, Rick starts flirting it up with Nish, the rest of the friends (who don't know either) are encouraging it all, and Nish is being fully stand-offish. Rick does kind of clue in, so he asks if Nish is single. Nish replies no, he is seeing someone. Rick then gets a little upset and leaves.
Sunday.
Nish calls me. He's concerned that Rick is mad because he thinks Rick felt that Nish made up the seeing someone thing to push Rick away. (Catch that??) So, knowing fully well why I am being briefed on the details after my departure, I offered to straighten things out. Soothe the nerves of the broken-hearted... Or at least explain the details to those who were in the dark.
Amazing how dating can be such a pain. I'm seeing someone. Nish is seeing someone. And there is still dating drama!
triage
So, Ronny and I were sitting in front of the Olive Garden waiting for our pager thing to start flashing (well out of earshot), when the conversation turned to sex. Ronny was of the opinion that I was not into "crazy" sex. I asked what "crazy" meant. He was just like "well, it's Crazy!!" Yeah. So, I asked if 3-ways count. -background tidbit: I did ask him if was into 3-ways a couple weeks ago- He asked if that was like a fantasy of mine. I said it wasn't really a fantasy; that I had done it once. He said he had tried once, but it didn't work out. Didn't work? He apparently thought it would be fun, called these guys he knew, started, then realied he couldn't really bring himself to go through with it.
Then he mentioned that he would be willing to try again. I was rather surprised... Then he laughed, and said that it would have to be with someone 'unforgettable.' So, if I find a really really hot guy, I may even be able to invite him over...
So, I guess his jealous behavior from before has passed.
Then he mentioned that he would be willing to try again. I was rather surprised... Then he laughed, and said that it would have to be with someone 'unforgettable.' So, if I find a really really hot guy, I may even be able to invite him over...
So, I guess his jealous behavior from before has passed.
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
poker
Had another poker night. Interesting group... Since I met Ronny through Psycho Ex, Ronny is friends with Psycho's friends. Four of Psycho friends came over to hang out and play poker Saturday night. Apparently they also blew off Psycho in order to come! If he ever finds out, he'll blow a fuse! And it's so evil of me to find that funny.
Work has gotten nearly unbearable. My boss actually told me today that I need to draw more attention to myself. He appreciates that I do things and do them well, but I need to jump up and down and yell out that I did it. That is SO not my style. But since the moron I replaced is REALLY good at drawing attention to himself (usually for stuff he didn't actually do), that is apparently the reason the owner thinks I am incapable of taking over for the moron. Really. I have been specifically told that THAT is the reason.
Work has gotten nearly unbearable. My boss actually told me today that I need to draw more attention to myself. He appreciates that I do things and do them well, but I need to jump up and down and yell out that I did it. That is SO not my style. But since the moron I replaced is REALLY good at drawing attention to himself (usually for stuff he didn't actually do), that is apparently the reason the owner thinks I am incapable of taking over for the moron. Really. I have been specifically told that THAT is the reason.
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Queijo
There is a little Brazilian specialty called Pao de Queijo, which means Cheese Bread. I LOVE it!! It may have something to do with the cheese... :)
I have been working on being able to make my own. They sell mix packages at the grocery store, but they are just kind of not really that good. I found a recipe online. Of course, I misunderstood Manioc Starch, and ended up with Cassava Flour. It's equivalent to using wheat germ instead of flour. Not pretty... So, Ronny got a recipe from his sister back home in Brazil, we went to the Brazilian market in Shrewsbury, and got the Correct bag of starch. His recipe is more like pancake batter, and you make it in muffin cups, so it's not quite right, either. Very good, of course, but not quite right. There was some batter left over, so I actually cooked it like a pancake. Hmmmm - not quite right, again.
So, my quest for homemade pao de queijo continues. Until then, Miranda Bread makes some Delish rolls for sale...
Sunday night I had another Ronny dream. I was -uh- trying to get his clothes off. So, it was one of Those kind of dreams. Turns out, Ronny was having a dream at the same time that was more about me strangling him. Odd how those concurrent dreams were not quite the same in tone... And I think it's pretty Psych 101 to see the symbolism in dreaming of being Smothered!
I have been working on being able to make my own. They sell mix packages at the grocery store, but they are just kind of not really that good. I found a recipe online. Of course, I misunderstood Manioc Starch, and ended up with Cassava Flour. It's equivalent to using wheat germ instead of flour. Not pretty... So, Ronny got a recipe from his sister back home in Brazil, we went to the Brazilian market in Shrewsbury, and got the Correct bag of starch. His recipe is more like pancake batter, and you make it in muffin cups, so it's not quite right, either. Very good, of course, but not quite right. There was some batter left over, so I actually cooked it like a pancake. Hmmmm - not quite right, again.
So, my quest for homemade pao de queijo continues. Until then, Miranda Bread makes some Delish rolls for sale...
Sunday night I had another Ronny dream. I was -uh- trying to get his clothes off. So, it was one of Those kind of dreams. Turns out, Ronny was having a dream at the same time that was more about me strangling him. Odd how those concurrent dreams were not quite the same in tone... And I think it's pretty Psych 101 to see the symbolism in dreaming of being Smothered!
Thursday, August 04, 2005
Omen
Oh, and I was looking at the calendar to see where Ronny and my 6-month anniversary would fall, and I made a rather odd observation. Background tidbit: Sergio dumped me on our 7-month anniversary, so we were together exactly seven months. So, my 6-month with Ronny will be October 10. Then it kind of hits me. That means our 7-month will be November 10. The day my relationship with Ronny has lasted the same length as that with Sergio falls upon Sergio's 40th birthday. (Assuming Ronny and I are still together then.) What are the ODDS?????
dream weaver
Yes, yes, I know. More dream stories...
So, I've been playing World of Warcraft (dorky, yes, I know). Typical fantasy role playing genre - humans, elves and dwarves battling orcs trolls and the undead. It's a multiplayer online version. I am playing as an undead warlock. Warlocks get to have 'pets' - conjured things like an imp, djinni, banshee. There is another player class called hunter, which gets pets, too. Theirs are wild beasts they befriend - bears, tigers, etc.
Tuesday night,I dream I am playing the game and my warlock is walking along with a black cougar as his pet. Come upon a little encampment, meet a master warlock, and request training. This is done in the game, but training consists of a chime sound, sparkly light, and Poof, instantly trained. In my dream, in was more of a sparring match, with lovely Star-Wars-emperor-type dialogue: "Yessssss, gooooooood, feeeeeeeel your aaaaaaanger." The master also had some 'pet' that my cougar was sparring with. At the end of the 'training' the cougar says to the other animal "Te amo." (Portuguese for I love you.) I turn to the cougar and ask "Por que fala 'te amo'?" (Why do you say I love you?) First, I realize this was a sudden dream shift where I was no longer playing a computer game, but was IN the world itself. Second, I also realize I should have used the past tense "why did you" but I have not been studying my conjugations, and don't know how to say the past tense.
WHY I AM TELLING YOU THIS: This is the first time I recall speaking Portuguese in a dream. Do dreams mean anything? Why would my first comment in P. in a dream be "Why do you say I love you?"? Granted it was directed to a computer game character, but still...
Wednesday night I had another interesting dream. This time it was senior year in college, and I was moving into the dorm. It was an apartment style setup, and the tenants were just assigned a floor, and then picked whichever one they wanted on that floor. I picked the one in front, overlooking the front yard. Had a nice layout. Then was arranging where to put my furniture. Then discover that I had a roommate - Ronny. I do believe, this was the first appearance of Ronny in a dream. And again, do they mean anything? I was setting up house with him. Moving into a new home with the furniture I really have in real life. Hmmmm.
In the category of Sucky Jobs I Am Glad I Do Not Have, they started work on the roof today. For those who are not local, it was 95F and 100% humidity. (Threats of storms, but never happened.) Ick.
So, I've been playing World of Warcraft (dorky, yes, I know). Typical fantasy role playing genre - humans, elves and dwarves battling orcs trolls and the undead. It's a multiplayer online version. I am playing as an undead warlock. Warlocks get to have 'pets' - conjured things like an imp, djinni, banshee. There is another player class called hunter, which gets pets, too. Theirs are wild beasts they befriend - bears, tigers, etc.
Tuesday night,I dream I am playing the game and my warlock is walking along with a black cougar as his pet. Come upon a little encampment, meet a master warlock, and request training. This is done in the game, but training consists of a chime sound, sparkly light, and Poof, instantly trained. In my dream, in was more of a sparring match, with lovely Star-Wars-emperor-type dialogue: "Yessssss, gooooooood, feeeeeeeel your aaaaaaanger." The master also had some 'pet' that my cougar was sparring with. At the end of the 'training' the cougar says to the other animal "Te amo." (Portuguese for I love you.) I turn to the cougar and ask "Por que fala 'te amo'?" (Why do you say I love you?) First, I realize this was a sudden dream shift where I was no longer playing a computer game, but was IN the world itself. Second, I also realize I should have used the past tense "why did you" but I have not been studying my conjugations, and don't know how to say the past tense.
WHY I AM TELLING YOU THIS: This is the first time I recall speaking Portuguese in a dream. Do dreams mean anything? Why would my first comment in P. in a dream be "Why do you say I love you?"? Granted it was directed to a computer game character, but still...
Wednesday night I had another interesting dream. This time it was senior year in college, and I was moving into the dorm. It was an apartment style setup, and the tenants were just assigned a floor, and then picked whichever one they wanted on that floor. I picked the one in front, overlooking the front yard. Had a nice layout. Then was arranging where to put my furniture. Then discover that I had a roommate - Ronny. I do believe, this was the first appearance of Ronny in a dream. And again, do they mean anything? I was setting up house with him. Moving into a new home with the furniture I really have in real life. Hmmmm.
In the category of Sucky Jobs I Am Glad I Do Not Have, they started work on the roof today. For those who are not local, it was 95F and 100% humidity. (Threats of storms, but never happened.) Ick.
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