Direct

Friday evening I met up with my friend Nish for dinner. We went to an Indian restaurant. I did not get chicken tikka masala (my favorite). Over dinner, our conversation turned to my dating foibles. Nish is a firm believer in dating being a game. I am not into games, and he thinks that is why I am faring so poorly. I tend to declare my intentions as they occur. He said this ruins the fun and mystery of beginning a new relationship. In other words, I scare them off by being too up-front.

He suggested I back now on my pursuits, and to just flirt without telling them what I want or how I am feeling. He warned I tend to go to extremes. Either I am too forward, or completely inaccessible. He suggested a more happy medium. I said, "Oh, you want me to be coquettish!" He didn't seem to know what that word meant, but figured it was probably right...

As anticipated, Leo and Marcelo showed up together at the club that night. I was working, so it was very easy to be cordial but not obsessive. When I asked to see ID, Marcelo grabbed his crotch and asked if I wanted to "see his documents". I got a fairly cold reception from Leo. I wish it wasn't so all-or-none. Anyway, I took their money, gave them their wristbands, and checked Marcelo's coat. They went in to dance. (I would have offered comp admission, but they were with the drag queen, and I couldn't do 3.)

A little while later, Marcelo stopped up by the front desk, and was just staring at me. I stared back, and started making faces. Did a little elevator eyes, too, while I was at it. Then some people came in, and I had to attend to their needs, and Marcelo wandered off. Later, again, Marcelo stopped by, but there were some people chatting with me (Nish, and Brad) and some people leaving (Danny), so there was a lot of activity at the desk. Marcelo thumbed through the gayrag by the door for a few minutes, and then wandered off again. I didn't even get a chance to acknowledge his presence.

He left with some other guy that night. I do not know if it was a friend, or that they "left together". Between handing out coats, I never even saw Leo lead out, so didn't get to say good-night.

Saturday night was a little busier, but fewer possibilities. Cris was there, so I got a hello kiss and a goodbye kiss. Junior showed up with his ex Robert, who he is still pining for, so I got NO lovin' from him. (I also think Robert is attractive, but I know Ronny messed around with him, too, so he must be a Braziliaphile like me.) I do not know if that means they are reuniting, or establishing a friendship, or just happened to show up at the same time. Daemian thinks Junior wants me, and is just not acting on it, but experiences major jealousy flare-ups if someone else is around. Since he would have heard about the Leo and Marcelo episodes, he may even have played the Robert card as a ploy to get me jealous. According to Ronny, Junior is heartlessly cold and calculating, so it would be within Ronny's version of possibility.

Also, the owner's friend Jazz (half black, half german) was there again. Got to spend more time around him (he stayed to hang out after close), while he was intoxicated, too. Turns out he is a Big Ol' Girl. Big Ol' Bottom, too. Chasing the owner, so not looking for anyone else. So, yea, my earlier synopsis of "my type" was mostly wrong.

I had tentative plans to meet up with a guy from Match. I had suggested Christmas shopping, and he said that was a good idea. When I called to ask when he wanted to, I got voicemail, and he didn't respond until almost midnight (I was asleep). So, the next time I called and got voicemail, I left a suggestion on date and time. He called back Friday night, rather SHOCKED that I would name a time already, despite not having talked yet. Didn't matter anyway, because he said he was working all weekend, and wouldn't be able to meet up. I feel the beginning of the end already.

My life is a hopeless, up-hill battle - Sisyphean, even!