Which SATC girl are you?

I was watching Sex and the City on TBS last night, and was once again reminded that I am totally a Miranda. I was having trouble ignoring the cupcakes in the kitchen, while Miranda was eating chocolate cake out of her trash bin. The episode was about relationships versus sex.

As I was getting ready for bed, the thought crossed my mind that despite the title, the show really is about relationships. The four heroines depict the four possible control situations in a relationship. Miranda is the one in control. Charlotte prefers to have the other be in control. Carrie is more of an equality type. Samantha doesn't really DO relationships, so she doesn't have any control scenario. Extending my "Miranda-ness" in this thought means I am the control freak in my relationships. That, of course, is not a common thing people like to admit. Which makes sense that everyone wants to say they are most like Carrie, but most aren't. I would want to. But I know I am too much of an organized anal-retentive perfectionist to be Carrie.

Reflecting on my relationship with Ronny, and the complaints I have had with him, I realized how tight a grasp I can have on relatively pointless things. Even cooking dinner was often an exercise in control. Use the right pot, not that spoon, the heat's too high, why are you adding so much oil, oh my god that's a lot of salt, stir less, don't forget to rinse that afterwards, and stop using the vent fan because it's totally pointless. We didn't cook together. Either I did and he watched TV, or he cooked and I watched TV. It was easier that way...

For some reason, my mind then went on to my friend Russell, who is a Carrie, in my opinion. His girlfriend is an evil Charlotte. Their relationship totally doesn't work, and it fits the pattern. He wants to be equals, while she is expecting him to take care of everything. So, when he assumes she will contribute, the gaping hole in her expectations sets fights in motion.

It would seem to me that two Carries would work, and a Miranda/Charlotte pair. Two Samanthas would have a lot of fun together, but not be LTR material. Any other combo is going to cause a lot of tension, anger, and frustration. Going back to my earlier comment about wanting to be a Carrie, but not actually being one, the essence boils down to a lot of relationships are one in control and the other happy with that. My parents are a classic example. The 1950's image of the working dad, Stepford-ish housewife, and 'traditional family' structure all but worshipped that type of arrangement.

So, should I make myself into a Carrie, or should I just look for a Charlotte??