Tuesday night, around 10:30, there was a knock at my door. It was Ronny. Bearing flowers. He said he was miserable without me, so decided that for as long as I am in town, he would like to still be with me. He admitted that the whole grandstanding declaration back on Sunday was more of an attempt at keeping me from leaving. The flowers have this little battery powered fiber-optic spray in them, so the bouquet blinks with red light.
Wednesday night he came over, as well. We ended up discussing the 'situation' a little more. He said that he realizes that he loves me too much to demand that I do what he wants. He wants to remain friends even after I leave, and that some day he would like me to come visit in Brazil.
I am perfectly happy to stay friends. I want to know how his life happens. And, let's be honest, who would turn down an invitation to hang out in Brazil!!
He did ask I would stay in town until his birthday. (End of February) I told him that I was not planning on staying into 2006. He mentioned that I don't go out with friends on Friday nights anymore, and that it is OK with him if I do. I told him that was more a result of Nish getting back together with his ex, because Nish was who I was usually hanging out with on Friday nights, and now that doesn't really happen anymore. The apology aspect of the comment caught my attention, though. It seems as though he is blaming things on little errors he may have made, like getting mad at me for hanging out with friends while he was at work. (long story - apparently pre-dates my blog...)
Friday, October 28, 2005
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Skiing is BAD
This past Sunday, Ronny was sitting at my computer for a while. I stopped by to see what he was doing, and he was chatting on a Brazilian gay chat room. I was not too happy that the little bit of time I get to spend with him on a Sunday afternoon (between three hours at his house, and an hour on the phone to his sister) was spent talking to random strangers.
He finally got offline, and we were eventually sitting on the couch in front of the TV. An ad came on for one of the area ski hills. He said something about us going in January or February. I said, I might not BE here come January or February. This led into the uncomfortable "Why are you leaving" discussion again. He said he thought I had changed my mind. I said I was still planning to leave.
He felt that if I did not love him enough to stick around, then there really is no point in staying together anymore. If I can just pack and leave him behind, then why is he with me? He said that if I wait another year, he would be able to go along with me. But that if I leave now, he won't want me back. I can not wait a year. My job is driving me nuts, winter is already here again, and I have to sell my condo before my adjustable rate mortgage jumps 3%. I need to leave before the dawning of 2006.
I do love him, enjoy being together, and like him a lot. But I just can't find it in my heart to wait for him. I guess I do not love him enough, just as he said. I do know that he is more in love with than I am in return. I feel badly about the situation, and it pains me to know that he is hurting. I really am not that horrible of a person that I enjoy seeing him suffer. But I think it has to be done. Now that it has come to pass, I think we both need to work on the next stages of our lives. I think that by the time I ready to head out the door, he should be ready to be friends again.
He offered once that in a few years when he goes back to Sao Paulo for a visit, that I am welcome to come along, even if we are not together anymore. He laughingly said he wouldn't even mind if I 'met' someone there. I know there was an element of "I can say it because I don't believe it will happen" but it would be nice to know he someday will be friends.
He finally got offline, and we were eventually sitting on the couch in front of the TV. An ad came on for one of the area ski hills. He said something about us going in January or February. I said, I might not BE here come January or February. This led into the uncomfortable "Why are you leaving" discussion again. He said he thought I had changed my mind. I said I was still planning to leave.
He felt that if I did not love him enough to stick around, then there really is no point in staying together anymore. If I can just pack and leave him behind, then why is he with me? He said that if I wait another year, he would be able to go along with me. But that if I leave now, he won't want me back. I can not wait a year. My job is driving me nuts, winter is already here again, and I have to sell my condo before my adjustable rate mortgage jumps 3%. I need to leave before the dawning of 2006.
I do love him, enjoy being together, and like him a lot. But I just can't find it in my heart to wait for him. I guess I do not love him enough, just as he said. I do know that he is more in love with than I am in return. I feel badly about the situation, and it pains me to know that he is hurting. I really am not that horrible of a person that I enjoy seeing him suffer. But I think it has to be done. Now that it has come to pass, I think we both need to work on the next stages of our lives. I think that by the time I ready to head out the door, he should be ready to be friends again.
He offered once that in a few years when he goes back to Sao Paulo for a visit, that I am welcome to come along, even if we are not together anymore. He laughingly said he wouldn't even mind if I 'met' someone there. I know there was an element of "I can say it because I don't believe it will happen" but it would be nice to know he someday will be friends.
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
That sinking feeling
We had about 9 consecutive days of rain here last week. After a week of non-stop rain, we had a heavy downpour on Friday night. It apparently overwhelmed the already-busy drainage system. My house is on a hill, and I'm on the fifth floor, so I was fine. In fact, I didn't even know there was a problem.
I got to work Monday morning, and saw Chino driving down the parking lot on a forklift. I thought that was strange. Walk in the door and discover why. Our main production floor had been submerged under two feet of water late Friday night. My office is raised about 4 inches higher, but we still got hit.
The clean-up has been miserable. Plus, all of our parts are made of steel. Almost everything is prone to rust. We have been going through every single part in inventory to see if it turned rusty. Most things are requiring a wipe-down now to get the moisture off. I luckily don't have to do the wiping, but I'm one of the team evaluating everything.
I think these past two months have been torture because God is tormenting me for not getting my rear in gear and moving on to my next career move (somewhere south of the snow belt). This is the "how much more obvious of a sign do you need????" moment.
Ronny agreed I need to work on changing jobs. When I reminded him what that means, he said yeah he knows...
I got to work Monday morning, and saw Chino driving down the parking lot on a forklift. I thought that was strange. Walk in the door and discover why. Our main production floor had been submerged under two feet of water late Friday night. My office is raised about 4 inches higher, but we still got hit.
The clean-up has been miserable. Plus, all of our parts are made of steel. Almost everything is prone to rust. We have been going through every single part in inventory to see if it turned rusty. Most things are requiring a wipe-down now to get the moisture off. I luckily don't have to do the wiping, but I'm one of the team evaluating everything.
I think these past two months have been torture because God is tormenting me for not getting my rear in gear and moving on to my next career move (somewhere south of the snow belt). This is the "how much more obvious of a sign do you need????" moment.
Ronny agreed I need to work on changing jobs. When I reminded him what that means, he said yeah he knows...
Lasagna
Several weeks ago I made a cheese lasagna. Big hit. But I know Ronny likes meat lasagna, so this weekend I decided to make a lasagna with beef. But I didn't have a bag full of fresh garden-grown tomatoes (that's what triggered the cheese lasagna), so I used Barilla jarred sauce. Sauteed onion and garlic, browned the beef, added alforno and cheese pasta sauces. Smelled kinda Bland. Added more garlic, oregano, pepper... Still tasted a little flat. Decided to dump in a half packet of sazon goya (a little magic in little foil packets!!). For those of you who don't know, it's this seasoning packet from the hispanic aisle that turns food bright orange and zests it up with monosodium glutamate.
Ronny loved the lasagna. Apparently that night, though, he had a major visit with the bathroom. Sunday we had more, as left-overs. That night he called and said he was major stomach issues again, the same as the night before. So, he was guessing it was the lasagna. I said the only thing I could think it would be from would be the sazon. I had no problems eating it, which is good, because now I have to finish all the left-overs. So, I'll have to keep in mind he seems to react badly to MSG...
Ronny loved the lasagna. Apparently that night, though, he had a major visit with the bathroom. Sunday we had more, as left-overs. That night he called and said he was major stomach issues again, the same as the night before. So, he was guessing it was the lasagna. I said the only thing I could think it would be from would be the sazon. I had no problems eating it, which is good, because now I have to finish all the left-overs. So, I'll have to keep in mind he seems to react badly to MSG...
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Neighborly
Yes, it has been a while since I posted. Things just have been THAT boring. Other than unbelievably horrid days at work, there hasn't been anything noticable. And I'm sure you all have enough work-related horror stories to get sick of hearing me whine.
A friend of mine was having a party this past Saturday. I asked Ronny if he wanted to go, and he said Yeah. So, I RSVP'ed. Saturday comes. He had to work in the morning, as usual. He had said he needed to talk to his brother-in-law after work, and would be over a little later. Then I get a call, he was at a children's birthday party for someone he worked with. Went with Cris, and needed a ride back. So, I went and picked him up. Meanwhile, my friend Russell called to ask what I was up to. I said we were heading to Boston, so he said to give him a call later the next week. I picked Ronny up, and we were heading back to my place, and he says he's too tired. When we got to my place, he just wanted to go to sleep. It was like 7:30 pm.
I was rather unhappy. While he drifted off to sleep, I took care of a few things, and logged on to the internet to check a couple emails, and whatever. About 8:30 he came downstairs and apologized for ruining our plans. He was lying on the couch with his head in my lap, practically falling asleep. Said we could stop and get him some RedBull and head into Boston. I knew this was an invitation to Danger. I had visions of how the night would go, so we just ended up staying up. He did stay up for a few hours before calling it a night. Oh well...
Sunday I called my friend Paola. We met in college, then she lived in NYC, and apparently a short while ago she moved in next door! Actually about two blocks away, but still oddly close. I called to see if she was ready for me to stop by, and she said there was something she needed to warn me about before I came over. She said she's Changed. I saw her in January, and was not sure how much a change could have happened, much less something that would 'frighten' me. Turns out she's pregnant. Like 9 months pregnant. And married! But she's doing well.
A friend of mine was having a party this past Saturday. I asked Ronny if he wanted to go, and he said Yeah. So, I RSVP'ed. Saturday comes. He had to work in the morning, as usual. He had said he needed to talk to his brother-in-law after work, and would be over a little later. Then I get a call, he was at a children's birthday party for someone he worked with. Went with Cris, and needed a ride back. So, I went and picked him up. Meanwhile, my friend Russell called to ask what I was up to. I said we were heading to Boston, so he said to give him a call later the next week. I picked Ronny up, and we were heading back to my place, and he says he's too tired. When we got to my place, he just wanted to go to sleep. It was like 7:30 pm.
I was rather unhappy. While he drifted off to sleep, I took care of a few things, and logged on to the internet to check a couple emails, and whatever. About 8:30 he came downstairs and apologized for ruining our plans. He was lying on the couch with his head in my lap, practically falling asleep. Said we could stop and get him some RedBull and head into Boston. I knew this was an invitation to Danger. I had visions of how the night would go, so we just ended up staying up. He did stay up for a few hours before calling it a night. Oh well...
Sunday I called my friend Paola. We met in college, then she lived in NYC, and apparently a short while ago she moved in next door! Actually about two blocks away, but still oddly close. I called to see if she was ready for me to stop by, and she said there was something she needed to warn me about before I came over. She said she's Changed. I saw her in January, and was not sure how much a change could have happened, much less something that would 'frighten' me. Turns out she's pregnant. Like 9 months pregnant. And married! But she's doing well.
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Three Flags
Ronny had gotten three passes to Six Flags from work. So, Saturday we headed to Agawam with his sister. She was apparently REALLY excited about going. Her husband was staying home to babysit. The instant we pulled away from the house (still within shouting distance) she started crying because she missed her baby boy.
We stopped off at a little convenience store prior to the park so Ronny could get aspirin. While we were there I pointed out they had batteries (her camera was about to go dead). Well, that led to a shopping spree... But in multiple rounds. The poor clerk. First it was batteries and trying to figure out how many aspirin packs. Then a bottle of water came in. Then another bottle of water. Then a candy bar. I had made rice krispie treats the night before, but apparently those weren't enough!
We get to the park and go on Pandemonium. Fun little ride - I thought it would be bigger, though. Then this upside-down swinging thing next to that. Then the one that reverses itself. As we get off that one, sis heads to the bushes. A little bit of her breakfast is now part of the park! Three rides in, and she refused to go on any more, except the ferris wheel. Ronny and I hit all the major rides, and went on Superman twice. The lines were nice and short, which helps 'cuz 6Flags is HORRIBLE for slow moving lines.
We had lunch at the park. Ronny only ate half of his fries. His sister finished them for him. Shortly after she got TWO ice cream cones. Although Ronny helped with one of them.
I think she spent most of the time Ronny and I were on rides stuffing herself!
We stopped around the midway games, and she was rather drawn to the ring toss. She bought a couple rings, and had no luck. So she bought a bunch more. Ronny then bought a bunch to try to beat her. Unfortunately for him, she won. I wasn't looking, and I know the operator was not watching either, but she got a ring on one of the bottles. Picked the cheetah. This thing was almost five feet tall. It was HUGE. We head back to my car to put it away while we finish going on rides, and can't quite figure out where to put it. It was larger than the back seat. It ended up going in between the front seats, with it's feet in the rear and it's head up by the rear-view mirror. I could not even see Ronny in the passenger seat, and sis was scrunched in the back. Ronny had to be my right-side mirror for me.
We stopped off at a little convenience store prior to the park so Ronny could get aspirin. While we were there I pointed out they had batteries (her camera was about to go dead). Well, that led to a shopping spree... But in multiple rounds. The poor clerk. First it was batteries and trying to figure out how many aspirin packs. Then a bottle of water came in. Then another bottle of water. Then a candy bar. I had made rice krispie treats the night before, but apparently those weren't enough!
We get to the park and go on Pandemonium. Fun little ride - I thought it would be bigger, though. Then this upside-down swinging thing next to that. Then the one that reverses itself. As we get off that one, sis heads to the bushes. A little bit of her breakfast is now part of the park! Three rides in, and she refused to go on any more, except the ferris wheel. Ronny and I hit all the major rides, and went on Superman twice. The lines were nice and short, which helps 'cuz 6Flags is HORRIBLE for slow moving lines.
We had lunch at the park. Ronny only ate half of his fries. His sister finished them for him. Shortly after she got TWO ice cream cones. Although Ronny helped with one of them.
I think she spent most of the time Ronny and I were on rides stuffing herself!
We stopped around the midway games, and she was rather drawn to the ring toss. She bought a couple rings, and had no luck. So she bought a bunch more. Ronny then bought a bunch to try to beat her. Unfortunately for him, she won. I wasn't looking, and I know the operator was not watching either, but she got a ring on one of the bottles. Picked the cheetah. This thing was almost five feet tall. It was HUGE. We head back to my car to put it away while we finish going on rides, and can't quite figure out where to put it. It was larger than the back seat. It ended up going in between the front seats, with it's feet in the rear and it's head up by the rear-view mirror. I could not even see Ronny in the passenger seat, and sis was scrunched in the back. Ronny had to be my right-side mirror for me.
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
Tired
Warning: another dream story!
Last night I had a little difficulty sleeping. At one point, I did fall asleep, and my dream was about being on a road trip. I was travelling with Carrie, Samantha, and Charlotte from SATC. There was a guy with us as well, but I do not know who he was.
So, we get to the hotel room, and Samantha and I are both ready to crash, so we end up laying down on one of the two beds. Carrie and RandomGuy sit on the other, while Charlotte sits down on the floor between the beds. Somehow the conversation about whether she would be comfortable sleeping on the floor drifts to Carrie sleeping with her, and drifts to them making out. RandomGuy is SO into that concept. Samantha and I, however, are so just trying to get to sleep!
I eventually toss and turn, get fairly comfy, start drifting off, and BAM! The alarm clock goes off. The real one. I was not happy to wake up. Not that I was into the dream, I just would rather not be going to work.
Last night I had a little difficulty sleeping. At one point, I did fall asleep, and my dream was about being on a road trip. I was travelling with Carrie, Samantha, and Charlotte from SATC. There was a guy with us as well, but I do not know who he was.
So, we get to the hotel room, and Samantha and I are both ready to crash, so we end up laying down on one of the two beds. Carrie and RandomGuy sit on the other, while Charlotte sits down on the floor between the beds. Somehow the conversation about whether she would be comfortable sleeping on the floor drifts to Carrie sleeping with her, and drifts to them making out. RandomGuy is SO into that concept. Samantha and I, however, are so just trying to get to sleep!
I eventually toss and turn, get fairly comfy, start drifting off, and BAM! The alarm clock goes off. The real one. I was not happy to wake up. Not that I was into the dream, I just would rather not be going to work.
Anger Management
Monday was Labor Day. I had off. Ronny did not. Before he left I asked if he was coming back over in the afternoon. He said no. I asked if he was coming back over at night. He said he didn't know.
I basically spent the day running around the digital world of warcraft. But I did unplug to go to dinner with my friend Joe for his birthday. But then Joe was tired, so he went home after dinner.
Ronny called after work (about 10:15pm) and asked if I wanted him to come over. I paused, noted how tired I felt, and said "uhh, no, that's OK."
Ronny got Really Upset. We had a rather uncomfortable talk on the phone for almost 10 minutes, which finished with him saying "bye." About a minute and a half later, there's a knock at my door. Guess who...
I have a feeling he got so mad because he was already AT my house, and was expecting me to say "Yeah come over!" To which he could reply "Ha-ha! I'm already here!!"
But we smoothed things over! And Tuesday night I stopped in at DD to visit for a little while. (The new pumpkin donuts are really tasty!)
Crisis averted!
I basically spent the day running around the digital world of warcraft. But I did unplug to go to dinner with my friend Joe for his birthday. But then Joe was tired, so he went home after dinner.
Ronny called after work (about 10:15pm) and asked if I wanted him to come over. I paused, noted how tired I felt, and said "uhh, no, that's OK."
Ronny got Really Upset. We had a rather uncomfortable talk on the phone for almost 10 minutes, which finished with him saying "bye." About a minute and a half later, there's a knock at my door. Guess who...
I have a feeling he got so mad because he was already AT my house, and was expecting me to say "Yeah come over!" To which he could reply "Ha-ha! I'm already here!!"
But we smoothed things over! And Tuesday night I stopped in at DD to visit for a little while. (The new pumpkin donuts are really tasty!)
Crisis averted!
Purgatory
Saturday Ronny came over, as usual. He said Cris had called and asked if we wanted to go to Purgatorio. I asked where that was, envisioning some gay club in Providence. He said, "No, Purgatory." Well, that one wasn't hard to translate, even for me, but it didn't help.
I asked "Is that Boston or Providence?"
"No, Purgatory."
"Yes, but where is it?"
This went a couple more times, ended up going nowhere. He said he would call Cris. Well, Cris was busy, so he was going to call back.
We start watching TV. Half hour later, Cris calls. They talk. Ronny says to me, "They're in the parking lot" and points to the side of the building.
"They're here NOW??"
"Well, yeah!"
"We're heading to a club at 3?"
"It's not a club!! It's Purgatory!"
Oooooooooohhhhhhhhhh. Now I get it. Purgatory Chasm is a park out on Rte 146. A glacier dropped some giant boulders there, so it's a bit more of a rock-climbing experience than your typical walk in the woods.
Ronny and I head downstairs. Cris and Brad (his BF) are in his Jeep Cherokee. I ask who's driving. Ronny and Cris want to take the convertible. Brad is trying desperately to make the Jeep sound like a cool option... We took my car. Brad made a comment about hating convertibles, then wore a grimace of pain all the drive out to the Chasm.
Cris likes bounding around on the rocks. I, however, have NO sense of balance, and was typically lagging behind. I also have a little vertigo-ishness and didn't enjoy peering over any drop-offs.
But I did suggest going for ice cream afterwards, and that was a good suggestion. Ronny likes Coldstone Creamery (I do too...) so we stopped on the way back. Brad apparently doesn't like ice cream either. But the three of us enjoyed ours!
Then Brad & Cris headed home because Brad needed a nap. They said they'd come over later and hang out. I called about 9, Brad said he'd talk to Cris about what they wanted to do. Cris called Ronny about 9:45; they were going to the club in town. Ronny didn't want to, so he said no thanks. So, they didn't come over.
I asked "Is that Boston or Providence?"
"No, Purgatory."
"Yes, but where is it?"
This went a couple more times, ended up going nowhere. He said he would call Cris. Well, Cris was busy, so he was going to call back.
We start watching TV. Half hour later, Cris calls. They talk. Ronny says to me, "They're in the parking lot" and points to the side of the building.
"They're here NOW??"
"Well, yeah!"
"We're heading to a club at 3?"
"It's not a club!! It's Purgatory!"
Oooooooooohhhhhhhhhh. Now I get it. Purgatory Chasm is a park out on Rte 146. A glacier dropped some giant boulders there, so it's a bit more of a rock-climbing experience than your typical walk in the woods.
Ronny and I head downstairs. Cris and Brad (his BF) are in his Jeep Cherokee. I ask who's driving. Ronny and Cris want to take the convertible. Brad is trying desperately to make the Jeep sound like a cool option... We took my car. Brad made a comment about hating convertibles, then wore a grimace of pain all the drive out to the Chasm.
Cris likes bounding around on the rocks. I, however, have NO sense of balance, and was typically lagging behind. I also have a little vertigo-ishness and didn't enjoy peering over any drop-offs.
But I did suggest going for ice cream afterwards, and that was a good suggestion. Ronny likes Coldstone Creamery (I do too...) so we stopped on the way back. Brad apparently doesn't like ice cream either. But the three of us enjoyed ours!
Then Brad & Cris headed home because Brad needed a nap. They said they'd come over later and hang out. I called about 9, Brad said he'd talk to Cris about what they wanted to do. Cris called Ronny about 9:45; they were going to the club in town. Ronny didn't want to, so he said no thanks. So, they didn't come over.
Sunday, September 04, 2005
Exit the Tiger
***Re-update*** A few days later the shipping charges were credited back against my checking account. So, they did hold true to their word and do not deserve the hate.
I have checked the transaction history of my checking account, and it appears that Tiger did NOT actually give me free shipping like they said they would.
So, they lied.
That is just wrong. For a company to tell you they will do something, and then not do it leads to a lack of customer loyalty.
Therefore, I am rescinding my earlier endorsement.
Do NOT shop at TigerDirect!! They are evil!! (Must have been bought out by MicroSoft...)
I have checked the transaction history of my checking account, and it appears that Tiger did NOT actually give me free shipping like they said they would.
So, they lied.
That is just wrong. For a company to tell you they will do something, and then not do it leads to a lack of customer loyalty.
Therefore, I am rescinding my earlier endorsement.
Do NOT shop at TigerDirect!! They are evil!! (Must have been bought out by MicroSoft...)
Thursday, September 01, 2005
Tiger
I bought a new laptop, so I needed Excel and Word again. I decided to take the plunge and buy a legit copy. But since I'm still a student (in the worldly sense) I got the Student/Teacher edition. At the stores it was $150. TigerDirect (online computer stuff store) had it for $125. Sounds like a winner to me! I got the UPS ground shipping, and the total was $131. The site said in stock and ready to ship. I placed my order! (Tuesday, 8/23) Thursday I checked the Progress. This website said they were doing an overhaul of their inventory system, and shipments would be delayed 48 hours. Not fun, but OK, whatever...
Friday, still 48 hour delay.
Saturday, still 48 hour delay. So I sent an email to the customer service email address. Basically asked how many more 48 hours it would take.
Sunday, didn't check. I figured they probably don't ship on Sundays anyway.
Monday I did check again. This time the website said the info was unavailable. Makes sense - I was griping about the delays, so they just stopped telling me what was going on!
Tuesday I checked. It said it shipped! (8/30)
Wednesday I get two emails. One was the automated system notifying me of shipment. The other was a response from customer service apologizing for the delay and saying they would not charge me for shipping. I saved another six bucks!!
I realize it is only a lousy six dollars, but the gesture made me feel so much better! So, now instead of hating them, I love them!! :) So, go people! Shop for geek crap at TigerDirect.com!!
And today the box showed up. I can now update my slightly anal-retentive budget file again. Work on my resume, too...
While I was going through the MicroSoft YOU MUST REGISTER THIS PRODUCT screen, they had a comment box, so I said "Stop treating all your customers like criminals. I didn't steal it..."
It's like voting. My comment doesn't matter, but if enough people do the same, something useful might happen.
Random cheese comment: gruyere is tasty but smells like Nasty rancid milk
Friday, still 48 hour delay.
Saturday, still 48 hour delay. So I sent an email to the customer service email address. Basically asked how many more 48 hours it would take.
Sunday, didn't check. I figured they probably don't ship on Sundays anyway.
Monday I did check again. This time the website said the info was unavailable. Makes sense - I was griping about the delays, so they just stopped telling me what was going on!
Tuesday I checked. It said it shipped! (8/30)
Wednesday I get two emails. One was the automated system notifying me of shipment. The other was a response from customer service apologizing for the delay and saying they would not charge me for shipping. I saved another six bucks!!
I realize it is only a lousy six dollars, but the gesture made me feel so much better! So, now instead of hating them, I love them!! :) So, go people! Shop for geek crap at TigerDirect.com!!
And today the box showed up. I can now update my slightly anal-retentive budget file again. Work on my resume, too...
While I was going through the MicroSoft YOU MUST REGISTER THIS PRODUCT screen, they had a comment box, so I said "Stop treating all your customers like criminals. I didn't steal it..."
It's like voting. My comment doesn't matter, but if enough people do the same, something useful might happen.
Random cheese comment: gruyere is tasty but smells like Nasty rancid milk
TFTD
Thought for the Day, compliments of my mother:
Life is like a bus. People get on, and people get off. Some stay for a longer ride than others.
Life is like a bus. People get on, and people get off. Some stay for a longer ride than others.
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Perspective
A couple days ago, a friend of mine complained about migraines. Today he sent an email saying that he had been feeling not-so-well lately, and went to the doctor. The verdict came back that he is HIV positive. He was more than a little shocked. He claims to be holding up fairly well. He said he didn't quite understand - he always played safe.
Life can turn on you pretty quickly. I offered to help, though he lives quite far away, so admitted mostly I could only offer my prayers.
If you could offer one as well, it would be appreciated.
Life can turn on you pretty quickly. I offered to help, though he lives quite far away, so admitted mostly I could only offer my prayers.
If you could offer one as well, it would be appreciated.
don't leave me this way...
Work has sucked, lately. I mean, yeah, work always sucks. Everyone thinks their job sucks. But my job has been especially sucky these past couple weeks. Which has caused me to reconsider my relocation plans.
Originally, I had been thinking of waiting until early December before leaving. That would mean job hunting / listing my condo around the end of October or so. Staying that late was in part because the annual profit sharing checks are the first week of December. A couple weeks ago we had a MAJOR product failure at work. Lots of scrap and rework. Customer returns. Costly costly costly. Now, we are not sure how much this really will or will not cost the company, but we are completely expecting that the owner will use it an excuse to not give out much money for the profit sharing. That means sticking around for that check will not be worth it.
So, the NEW plan is to spend part of the upcoming holiday weekend updating my resume to start the wheels turning of heading south / west. California would be nice, but expensive... We'll see!
I mentioned it to my parents. I needed to talk to Ronny about it, but wasn't sure how to bring it up. We went to see Valiant on Sunday (cute movie, but nothing special - a kiddie movie about WWII - what was Disney thinking??), and as the pre-show commercials and crap played, I thought I need to bring it up soon. As we headed back to my place afterward, Ronny asks me how my week at work this coming week will be. I said it should be better. (Incidentally, it hasn't been, but that's beyond the point.) He replied with "So that means you don't need to move, right?" OK - I guess the topic has come up. Let's just say Ronny was NOT pleased. He started crying, said his heart was almost broken. He said "don't leave me... alone."
I of course started crying, too. How can that not tug at your heartstrings??
Then Ronny had to go to work. Meanwhile, my father calls. Since I mentioned the chance of moving soon, he wanted to remind me of all the wonderful government jobs available at the military bases near Las Cruces, and how to find them listed on the internet.
Enough to give you a headache.
Originally, I had been thinking of waiting until early December before leaving. That would mean job hunting / listing my condo around the end of October or so. Staying that late was in part because the annual profit sharing checks are the first week of December. A couple weeks ago we had a MAJOR product failure at work. Lots of scrap and rework. Customer returns. Costly costly costly. Now, we are not sure how much this really will or will not cost the company, but we are completely expecting that the owner will use it an excuse to not give out much money for the profit sharing. That means sticking around for that check will not be worth it.
So, the NEW plan is to spend part of the upcoming holiday weekend updating my resume to start the wheels turning of heading south / west. California would be nice, but expensive... We'll see!
I mentioned it to my parents. I needed to talk to Ronny about it, but wasn't sure how to bring it up. We went to see Valiant on Sunday (cute movie, but nothing special - a kiddie movie about WWII - what was Disney thinking??), and as the pre-show commercials and crap played, I thought I need to bring it up soon. As we headed back to my place afterward, Ronny asks me how my week at work this coming week will be. I said it should be better. (Incidentally, it hasn't been, but that's beyond the point.) He replied with "So that means you don't need to move, right?" OK - I guess the topic has come up. Let's just say Ronny was NOT pleased. He started crying, said his heart was almost broken. He said "don't leave me... alone."
I of course started crying, too. How can that not tug at your heartstrings??
Then Ronny had to go to work. Meanwhile, my father calls. Since I mentioned the chance of moving soon, he wanted to remind me of all the wonderful government jobs available at the military bases near Las Cruces, and how to find them listed on the internet.
Enough to give you a headache.
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Drama
A couple months ago, Nish and Mark broke up. Nish started dating.
Then, one night, I was at the club with some friends, and Nish joined me. My friend Rick saw Nish and was totally smitten. So, I was trying to get him to SAY SOMETHING to Nish. But he was too chicken.
Several days later, we were all at the club again, and Rick again was expressing interest in Nish. Again, I told him to GO SAY SOMETHING. Apparently this time, Rick got up the nerve. Nish was apparently slightly receptive, yet a bit stand-offish. Nothing happened besides a few pleasantries, and it was more of a 'catch ya later' kind of thing.
I discover later that Nish was being hesitant because he had plans to meet up with Mark the next day. Skip a lot of drama, and we get to the point where they get back together.
Now skip to last Saturday night. Rick is unaware of Nish's change from single status to spoken-for. Again, everybody's at the club. Rick is apparently going to push himself a lot more. (Nish had also grown a scruffy little facial hair, which drove Rick wild with desire...) Ronny is very tired, so we leave early. Meanwhile, Rick starts flirting it up with Nish, the rest of the friends (who don't know either) are encouraging it all, and Nish is being fully stand-offish. Rick does kind of clue in, so he asks if Nish is single. Nish replies no, he is seeing someone. Rick then gets a little upset and leaves.
Sunday.
Nish calls me. He's concerned that Rick is mad because he thinks Rick felt that Nish made up the seeing someone thing to push Rick away. (Catch that??) So, knowing fully well why I am being briefed on the details after my departure, I offered to straighten things out. Soothe the nerves of the broken-hearted... Or at least explain the details to those who were in the dark.
Amazing how dating can be such a pain. I'm seeing someone. Nish is seeing someone. And there is still dating drama!
Then, one night, I was at the club with some friends, and Nish joined me. My friend Rick saw Nish and was totally smitten. So, I was trying to get him to SAY SOMETHING to Nish. But he was too chicken.
Several days later, we were all at the club again, and Rick again was expressing interest in Nish. Again, I told him to GO SAY SOMETHING. Apparently this time, Rick got up the nerve. Nish was apparently slightly receptive, yet a bit stand-offish. Nothing happened besides a few pleasantries, and it was more of a 'catch ya later' kind of thing.
I discover later that Nish was being hesitant because he had plans to meet up with Mark the next day. Skip a lot of drama, and we get to the point where they get back together.
Now skip to last Saturday night. Rick is unaware of Nish's change from single status to spoken-for. Again, everybody's at the club. Rick is apparently going to push himself a lot more. (Nish had also grown a scruffy little facial hair, which drove Rick wild with desire...) Ronny is very tired, so we leave early. Meanwhile, Rick starts flirting it up with Nish, the rest of the friends (who don't know either) are encouraging it all, and Nish is being fully stand-offish. Rick does kind of clue in, so he asks if Nish is single. Nish replies no, he is seeing someone. Rick then gets a little upset and leaves.
Sunday.
Nish calls me. He's concerned that Rick is mad because he thinks Rick felt that Nish made up the seeing someone thing to push Rick away. (Catch that??) So, knowing fully well why I am being briefed on the details after my departure, I offered to straighten things out. Soothe the nerves of the broken-hearted... Or at least explain the details to those who were in the dark.
Amazing how dating can be such a pain. I'm seeing someone. Nish is seeing someone. And there is still dating drama!
triage
So, Ronny and I were sitting in front of the Olive Garden waiting for our pager thing to start flashing (well out of earshot), when the conversation turned to sex. Ronny was of the opinion that I was not into "crazy" sex. I asked what "crazy" meant. He was just like "well, it's Crazy!!" Yeah. So, I asked if 3-ways count. -background tidbit: I did ask him if was into 3-ways a couple weeks ago- He asked if that was like a fantasy of mine. I said it wasn't really a fantasy; that I had done it once. He said he had tried once, but it didn't work out. Didn't work? He apparently thought it would be fun, called these guys he knew, started, then realied he couldn't really bring himself to go through with it.
Then he mentioned that he would be willing to try again. I was rather surprised... Then he laughed, and said that it would have to be with someone 'unforgettable.' So, if I find a really really hot guy, I may even be able to invite him over...
So, I guess his jealous behavior from before has passed.
Then he mentioned that he would be willing to try again. I was rather surprised... Then he laughed, and said that it would have to be with someone 'unforgettable.' So, if I find a really really hot guy, I may even be able to invite him over...
So, I guess his jealous behavior from before has passed.
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
poker
Had another poker night. Interesting group... Since I met Ronny through Psycho Ex, Ronny is friends with Psycho's friends. Four of Psycho friends came over to hang out and play poker Saturday night. Apparently they also blew off Psycho in order to come! If he ever finds out, he'll blow a fuse! And it's so evil of me to find that funny.
Work has gotten nearly unbearable. My boss actually told me today that I need to draw more attention to myself. He appreciates that I do things and do them well, but I need to jump up and down and yell out that I did it. That is SO not my style. But since the moron I replaced is REALLY good at drawing attention to himself (usually for stuff he didn't actually do), that is apparently the reason the owner thinks I am incapable of taking over for the moron. Really. I have been specifically told that THAT is the reason.
Work has gotten nearly unbearable. My boss actually told me today that I need to draw more attention to myself. He appreciates that I do things and do them well, but I need to jump up and down and yell out that I did it. That is SO not my style. But since the moron I replaced is REALLY good at drawing attention to himself (usually for stuff he didn't actually do), that is apparently the reason the owner thinks I am incapable of taking over for the moron. Really. I have been specifically told that THAT is the reason.
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Queijo
There is a little Brazilian specialty called Pao de Queijo, which means Cheese Bread. I LOVE it!! It may have something to do with the cheese... :)
I have been working on being able to make my own. They sell mix packages at the grocery store, but they are just kind of not really that good. I found a recipe online. Of course, I misunderstood Manioc Starch, and ended up with Cassava Flour. It's equivalent to using wheat germ instead of flour. Not pretty... So, Ronny got a recipe from his sister back home in Brazil, we went to the Brazilian market in Shrewsbury, and got the Correct bag of starch. His recipe is more like pancake batter, and you make it in muffin cups, so it's not quite right, either. Very good, of course, but not quite right. There was some batter left over, so I actually cooked it like a pancake. Hmmmm - not quite right, again.
So, my quest for homemade pao de queijo continues. Until then, Miranda Bread makes some Delish rolls for sale...
Sunday night I had another Ronny dream. I was -uh- trying to get his clothes off. So, it was one of Those kind of dreams. Turns out, Ronny was having a dream at the same time that was more about me strangling him. Odd how those concurrent dreams were not quite the same in tone... And I think it's pretty Psych 101 to see the symbolism in dreaming of being Smothered!
I have been working on being able to make my own. They sell mix packages at the grocery store, but they are just kind of not really that good. I found a recipe online. Of course, I misunderstood Manioc Starch, and ended up with Cassava Flour. It's equivalent to using wheat germ instead of flour. Not pretty... So, Ronny got a recipe from his sister back home in Brazil, we went to the Brazilian market in Shrewsbury, and got the Correct bag of starch. His recipe is more like pancake batter, and you make it in muffin cups, so it's not quite right, either. Very good, of course, but not quite right. There was some batter left over, so I actually cooked it like a pancake. Hmmmm - not quite right, again.
So, my quest for homemade pao de queijo continues. Until then, Miranda Bread makes some Delish rolls for sale...
Sunday night I had another Ronny dream. I was -uh- trying to get his clothes off. So, it was one of Those kind of dreams. Turns out, Ronny was having a dream at the same time that was more about me strangling him. Odd how those concurrent dreams were not quite the same in tone... And I think it's pretty Psych 101 to see the symbolism in dreaming of being Smothered!
Thursday, August 04, 2005
Omen
Oh, and I was looking at the calendar to see where Ronny and my 6-month anniversary would fall, and I made a rather odd observation. Background tidbit: Sergio dumped me on our 7-month anniversary, so we were together exactly seven months. So, my 6-month with Ronny will be October 10. Then it kind of hits me. That means our 7-month will be November 10. The day my relationship with Ronny has lasted the same length as that with Sergio falls upon Sergio's 40th birthday. (Assuming Ronny and I are still together then.) What are the ODDS?????
dream weaver
Yes, yes, I know. More dream stories...
So, I've been playing World of Warcraft (dorky, yes, I know). Typical fantasy role playing genre - humans, elves and dwarves battling orcs trolls and the undead. It's a multiplayer online version. I am playing as an undead warlock. Warlocks get to have 'pets' - conjured things like an imp, djinni, banshee. There is another player class called hunter, which gets pets, too. Theirs are wild beasts they befriend - bears, tigers, etc.
Tuesday night,I dream I am playing the game and my warlock is walking along with a black cougar as his pet. Come upon a little encampment, meet a master warlock, and request training. This is done in the game, but training consists of a chime sound, sparkly light, and Poof, instantly trained. In my dream, in was more of a sparring match, with lovely Star-Wars-emperor-type dialogue: "Yessssss, gooooooood, feeeeeeeel your aaaaaaanger." The master also had some 'pet' that my cougar was sparring with. At the end of the 'training' the cougar says to the other animal "Te amo." (Portuguese for I love you.) I turn to the cougar and ask "Por que fala 'te amo'?" (Why do you say I love you?) First, I realize this was a sudden dream shift where I was no longer playing a computer game, but was IN the world itself. Second, I also realize I should have used the past tense "why did you" but I have not been studying my conjugations, and don't know how to say the past tense.
WHY I AM TELLING YOU THIS: This is the first time I recall speaking Portuguese in a dream. Do dreams mean anything? Why would my first comment in P. in a dream be "Why do you say I love you?"? Granted it was directed to a computer game character, but still...
Wednesday night I had another interesting dream. This time it was senior year in college, and I was moving into the dorm. It was an apartment style setup, and the tenants were just assigned a floor, and then picked whichever one they wanted on that floor. I picked the one in front, overlooking the front yard. Had a nice layout. Then was arranging where to put my furniture. Then discover that I had a roommate - Ronny. I do believe, this was the first appearance of Ronny in a dream. And again, do they mean anything? I was setting up house with him. Moving into a new home with the furniture I really have in real life. Hmmmm.
In the category of Sucky Jobs I Am Glad I Do Not Have, they started work on the roof today. For those who are not local, it was 95F and 100% humidity. (Threats of storms, but never happened.) Ick.
So, I've been playing World of Warcraft (dorky, yes, I know). Typical fantasy role playing genre - humans, elves and dwarves battling orcs trolls and the undead. It's a multiplayer online version. I am playing as an undead warlock. Warlocks get to have 'pets' - conjured things like an imp, djinni, banshee. There is another player class called hunter, which gets pets, too. Theirs are wild beasts they befriend - bears, tigers, etc.
Tuesday night,I dream I am playing the game and my warlock is walking along with a black cougar as his pet. Come upon a little encampment, meet a master warlock, and request training. This is done in the game, but training consists of a chime sound, sparkly light, and Poof, instantly trained. In my dream, in was more of a sparring match, with lovely Star-Wars-emperor-type dialogue: "Yessssss, gooooooood, feeeeeeeel your aaaaaaanger." The master also had some 'pet' that my cougar was sparring with. At the end of the 'training' the cougar says to the other animal "Te amo." (Portuguese for I love you.) I turn to the cougar and ask "Por que fala 'te amo'?" (Why do you say I love you?) First, I realize this was a sudden dream shift where I was no longer playing a computer game, but was IN the world itself. Second, I also realize I should have used the past tense "why did you" but I have not been studying my conjugations, and don't know how to say the past tense.
WHY I AM TELLING YOU THIS: This is the first time I recall speaking Portuguese in a dream. Do dreams mean anything? Why would my first comment in P. in a dream be "Why do you say I love you?"? Granted it was directed to a computer game character, but still...
Wednesday night I had another interesting dream. This time it was senior year in college, and I was moving into the dorm. It was an apartment style setup, and the tenants were just assigned a floor, and then picked whichever one they wanted on that floor. I picked the one in front, overlooking the front yard. Had a nice layout. Then was arranging where to put my furniture. Then discover that I had a roommate - Ronny. I do believe, this was the first appearance of Ronny in a dream. And again, do they mean anything? I was setting up house with him. Moving into a new home with the furniture I really have in real life. Hmmmm.
In the category of Sucky Jobs I Am Glad I Do Not Have, they started work on the roof today. For those who are not local, it was 95F and 100% humidity. (Threats of storms, but never happened.) Ick.
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