Bye Ronny

Ronny's brother Ronny went back to Brazil this week. His room doesn't look any different (clothes on the bed, alarm clock, etc.). And Ronny immediately picked a fight that night. Mentioned how he's definitely moving out in spring. Nauber and I are both just horrible people, you know. He refuses to acknowledge his fault in anything.

Desert

Last weekend we went to Vegas. I booked Palms for our hotel - I do not recommend it. In addition to being a little on the sucky side of meh, it is also a ways off the strip. I did rent a car knowing it was a bit of a hike. Having a car meant going to Hoover Dam was possible. They begged for Grand Canyon but that was just WAY too far. Overall we had a great trip! Saw Zarkana (cirque du soleil); I didn't like it. Boring'er than usual and a bunch of flubs by the performers. We saw Jubilee. It is NOT what I was expecting. It is so over the top uber gay you would not believe it! And considering they flaunt topless women as the attraction, you better believe there's some insane WTF going on! While Nauber was seeing Shania Twain, I was going to go play blackjack at TI, but ended up wandering with Ronninho. He's such a nice guy. And quite cute. Mostly we talked about how bad his brother has gotten. Ronny spent most of the trip on Grindr looking for hook-ups. They all want to go back again. And I enjoyed it enough to consider it!

Oh hey!

Goodness, it has already been a month since my last post. Sorry. It's just been kinda boring. Work still sucks, and there isn't really anything out there that looks both interesting and achievable. I did find out last night that when Nauber's mother was here (14 months ago) she told him that he should stay in the US instead of going back to Brazil because it is better here. Now why had I not heard that sooner?? The getting a puppy or baby talk has been ramping a little, too. He also said that if I were able to afford it, he would stay home and be "the wife". Oh dear Lord in heaven...

Touchy

Nauber is being more boyfriend-ish again. His asshole phases are never permanent, they just irk me while they play out. Otherwise nothing really interesting or new going on.

Grumble

Nauber's been an ass all week. And work sucks. And the deranged Ismael is lurking around again - gee, thanks Ronny. Life is not happy right now. October may bring new beginnings; it is 6 months at my current job and an acceptable time to start hunting again. Ronny noticed my Mood. Didn't CARE per se, but at least that is a step above Nauber's insensitivity.

Right on Time

It is Nauber and my four year anniversary. So, of course, he is being an insufferable ass right now. Sometimes his selfishness crosses that line between cute and infuriating. Strange how that usually coincides with my birthday or some other significant time.

Lurrv

Though the week was beyond quiet on the job front, it was Valentine's Day on Tuesday. Since I normally go to great lengths for things like this to be met with ambivalence from Nauber, I decided to save myself the disappointment and do absolutely nothing this year. So, of course, he took me out to dinner and bought me gifts.

So, I rushed to Target Wednesday for the clearance candy, and bags/bows. Made him a chocolate pudding pie with a little cherry syrup mixed into the cool whip and a big chocolate heart on top.

Sigh

I'm in a bit of a funk. Life has been so stagnant for so long that I feel like I will never find a job, lose weight, enjoy life again... I have no money to spend, so don't like shopping or traveling right now. That makes Nauber unhappy, which makes the relationship feel unfulfilling. It's like a big downward spiral. I've been hanging all the "change" on "when I get a job" that 3.5 years of complete rejection from every employer on the face of the planet is wearing me down.

In honor of my foul mood, here's the most uncharacteristic choice I could find in my collection:

Festa dos Brasilieros

Nauber has been much better this week. Even accommodated a request of mine! Did make a snarky reply about paying me back when he gets a new boyfriend after I mentioned how he hasn't paid me for any bills since his mom was here.

But it is his birthday this weekend. As well as Cris. As well as Sergio. We are doing a joint party for Cris and Nauber together on Saturday at our place. Sergio was invited, but I have no idea if he will show up (Ronny invited him).

And yes, these three are Brazilian, too:

Cave

Well, we had plans last Sunday, so we had to start talking again, just because... But he still just as selfish as always, and still treating me like I'm irrelevant. It's sort of like physical therapy, though. Lots of work for slow progress.

Mood Swing

So, two weeks ago, Oct 7, Nauber calls from work at like 10:30pm to ask permission to go out to the bar with a group of coworkers when they are done. He has gone out after work countless times, and never felt the need to call me first, so I thought it was odd, but really sweet. He then included an "I love you" in the sign-off. It was sort of tossed out casually, so I breezily said "I love you, too" in reply. But it was the second time he has said it ever, and the first since Christmas Eve two years ago when I was stranded alone in DC for the night. It made my heart happy!

This morning (like 4am) I drifted awake and tossed his stuffed bear to the floor. For the past month he has been sleeping with the damn thing, and it too large to make it comfortable, so it's hard for me to fall asleep. I have complained, but he doesn't care. Anyway, just as it hit the floor, Nauber woke up and had to go pee. He comes back and says "Why is Tifum on the floor?" crawls in bed, and yanks the blanket over to cover the poor bear. This leaves me uncovered, so I pull on the blankets, but again, the bear is in the way. I grab the bear, chuck it on the floor and say something akin to "enough with the damn bear"! He gets huffy and says "what are you doing!?!" to which I reply that "I should be able to sleep better than that stupid f&%#ing bear". He grabs his pillow and the bear, says "that's why I have my own bed" and storms off. Sooo nice to know I mean less to him than a stuffed toy he found on the side of the street (aka trash).

Today is a not-speaking day. I never win those, however, since he is perfectly fine with me leaving him alone, and it drives me nuts. We had just started plans and invites for his birthday party (Nov 5, our house!), so he'll need to ask me to do stuff for him. Not that there will be remorse or an apology. Ugghhhhh...

And this one is just for Amy...

37

Yesterday was my birthday. Ronny bitched I didn't do the dishes. Nauber asked why I didn't make him a cake. So, as usual, nobody cared enough to think about doing something for me.
Today Nauber and I went for lunch, with Liliani. We tried Summer Shack. Food was meh. Service was meh. Bathroom had no running water. They were out of iced tea and diet coke. We will not be going back.
After we ate, I said I wanted ColdStone. We ended up malling with Nauber. By the time he finished at A/X, Liliani had already left, and he said he didn't have time for ice cream, he had to go to work. I said I'd been saying ColdStone for two hours. He said I don't have a job. (I don't get it, either...) I repeated my complaint from last night that just one day a year it would be nice if he thought about what I wanted instead of making everybody do what he wants all the time. We got ice cream, but he was grumpy the whole time. Not exactly the point...
And it turns out the flavor I vaguely recalled wanting to try was limited time only in May, and no longer available (lemon poppyseed), so I got chocolate hazelnut. Meh.

Tomorrow is Pride. I don't really want to go, but there appears to be little option. I would rather play D&D, but there aren't enough people available - again. It's been three months since we last played. Pride has turned into an excuse for annoying people to get drunk. As I read recently, we've done to Pride what we've done to Christmas (ignore the message and go for the celebrating).

I'm in a funk. The annoying job hunt doesn't help at all. Everytime I see an employed person it reminds me how frustrating it is that nobody wants to hire someone competent enough to get top marks in MBA and MS ME.

Academia

Crazy week at school. Presentations, homework assignments, and even the collapse of a project team. That is the first time I've actually had a project team experience enough conflict to remove someone. Even the lazy arrogant jerk in my MGT650 class wasn't kicked out of the team. Next week is looking much more calm.

And my mother has booked a flight to come visit in May, so I am planning a graduation party that weekend!

And just wanted to record that Nauber has been in a very touchy / lovey mood lately, which I totally enjoy!

Repercussions

Vegas was fun. Nauber wants to go back (wanted to stay longer, too). "O" was visually stunning, but rather light on the acrobatics. Rio buffet was quite impressive (recommended!) but the Bellagio buffet was disappointing (not worth it).

Of my predictions, one was right (my desires were not important) but one was wrong (Phil did not bring the laptop and did not play WoW). Though, Phil did bring an iPad and did a little work now and then.

And, Phil and Ronny got into an argument that at one point included Phil hitting Ronny. Phil admits it was wrong and has apologized, but Ronny has declared Phil as being "dead to him" so has not heard the apology. I, of course, am tossed in the middle. It made the second half of the trip a lot more anxious and a lot less exciting. Ronny has also decreed that Phil is not allowed in our house, which I understand. It will cause issues a few times, for parties and such.

So, here's a pic of some guys being happy and getting along...

Cozy

Nauber has been sleeping in my room consistently for a couple weeks now. This is unusual, especially in that I have not been asking. Writing it will probably jinx it, but oh well!

Grumbles

Drama at home again. Every now and then I seem to get exasperated with Nauber's cold indifference. I wish he paid more attention to my desires.

Really?

Ronny has become friends with Sergio. They work out at the gym together all the time. Apparently, Sergio has made the comment that he "tries to be friends" with me but I push him away.

Excuse me??????????

My take on it was that when I called him (couple times) and emailed him (couple times) and he never answered or replied, I gave up. I was sick of being "dumped" by Sergio, and decided to stop giving him opportunities to do so. Ronny is aware of this. He claims that all happened in the past, and things are different now. I asked how they are different. He said he's friends with Sergio now. So, Sergio will stop being a callous, self-absorbed ass to me now that he's befriended an ex of mine who treats me properly. Really? I'm supposed to make the leap of faith AGAIN??

Snow Day

There was a major snowstorm attacking the east coast, so they canceled school on Wednesday. DC got another foot of snow. New York got about a foot of snow. Boston got about a trace of snow. I had a feeling it would turn out like that when the announcement was emailed to everyone, and it was raining at the time.

In follow-up to last week's post, we did talk. He didn't concede anything, but we're fine. Even Ronny noticed how lovey-dovey we've been.

Trivialities

Nauber and I are "fighting". I was getting a little tired of his "did you brush your teeth?" every single time I went to kiss him. And Monday, I had JUST brushed my teeth, went to kiss him, he asked, I said I just did, and his response was "so you didn't brush your teeth the whole time before that - ewwww" and wouldn't kiss me. I got a little PO'ed and said he was just making excuses.
This morning I took a shower and brushed my teeth while he was having breakfast. He still would not even acknowledge me. So, I was right. I was just an excuse.
What to do about it, though? He is a bit childish, selfish, and arrogant. And I'm tired of having to "chase" him all the time. But I think confrontation will be better than stand-off. Even though he won't concede.

So, here's a pretty distraction:

I know you...

Ronny, my ex with whom I am still friends and currently roommates, switched to the Gold's Gym next to where he works, which is walking distance from where we live. Some Brazilian guy asked him something the other day (like "you using that machine?" kind of stuff) and Ronny recognized him from pics he had seen on my computer.
"Are you Brazilian?"
"Yes"
"From Bahia?"
"Yes"
"Are you Sergio?"
"...yea..."
He lives a couple blocks in the other direction. Didn't ask Ronny who he was. I assume he figured it out after Ronny mentioning he moved here from Worcester.

And of course Ronny's comment to me was, he's looking old - and he's getting fat!
Aren't friends great!