Why

Yea yea yea, I know. I haven't posted in a while, and it's another dream...
Well, three, actually. I've been having some rather sexually explicit dreams again.

Some time ago, I had this dream that Ronny and I were on 'vacation' at some resort. Ronny, of course, had to work all day. And we were sharing a room with this hunky straight guy. Kind of imagine Hugh Jackman only a little less pretty and a bit more construction worker. After a few nights of subtle hints, we ended up having sex. The thing was, Ronny was already asleep. So, he was in the room at the time. I woke up rather horny, but figured it would be rather rude / bad karma to wake him up to have sex when I spurred on by a dream about cheating on him.

Then a few nights later, I had a dream I was at a party. All gay guys. Nice house. There was this hunky guy wandering around naked with an 18" hard-on. He'd approach someone, ask to have sex, and the guys would all chicken out. He caught me checking him out, and came over. I couldn't resist. So, next thing I know, I have a portion of that WMD in my mouth. After some fun with that, the dream morphed into us watching a Dateline special on TV about him. He was married and had two kids (which he had told me about; he mentioned she was just tired of trying, and was unable to deal with his dick anymore). They went into some detail about how terrible his life had been because nobody would want to have sex with him. (I know, typical Diane Sawyer topics.) They then started talking about his son, who was just hitting puberty. Doctors were anticipating that the son would outsize his father... In my dream, I woke up from that, and had sex with Ronny. Then I really woke up, and had sex with Ronny.

Last night, I was at the grocery store. There was this really hot guy there. About 5'6", blonde military buzz-cut, really well muscled, yummy yummy butt. (Not that I was checking him out...) So, last night I dreamt I was having sex with him. It was that intense, we'll-die-if-we-stop kind of impassioned making-out, gettin' busy. I was Really enjoying it. We finished off by making a big mess all over each other. Then I woke up. Rather horny... Went back to sleep. Had sex with him AGAIN. (I think that's the first time I've repeated a dream hook-up.) Made an even bigger mess on each other. Woke up again Really horny. Contemplated waking Ronny, but decided he needed his sleep.

For those of you who are unsure, the main reason I am willing to end things with Ronny when I leave is that I lack that all-consuming passion. When I was with Sergio, we would look at the clock and realize we'd just spent three hours groping, making-out, kissing, having sex. It was so much more engulfing than what I feel for Ronny. It's hard to keep the relationship alive when there is too little passion driving things. I want what I had with the dream guy...